Most "wedding vow examples" articles online are written for a default couple — bride and groom, in that order, with vows that assume a specific kind of love story. The vows below were written for queer couples, by people who know that "husband and wife" doesn't fit every wedding.
Use them as written. Mix lines from different ones. Or use them as a starting point and write the version that's actually yours.
How to use this list
Pick the section that fits your relationship:
- For two brides — vows written for wife-to-wife
- For two grooms — vows written for husband-to-husband
- For nonbinary or mixed-pronoun couples — gender-neutral, name-and-spouse-based
- For trans couples — vows with explicit language about change, becoming, and continuity
- Funny — for couples who don't want a tearjerker
- Short — for couples who want to say it and move on
A short note on length: the best vows are between 60 and 120 seconds, spoken. That's about 150–300 words. Anything longer and you'll lose the room.
For two brides
I take you to be my wife. I promise to be your home — the place you come back to, no matter where you've been. I promise to keep falling in love with the woman you are becoming, just as I fell in love with the woman you are. I will hold you when you're shaking, laugh with you when you're ridiculous, and tell you the truth even when it's uncomfortable. You are my person.
I love you because you are the bravest person I know. I love you because you laugh with your whole body. I love you because you make me a better version of myself just by being in the room. Today, I am promising you forever. Not the easy parts — all of it.
I promise to be the wife you can come out the closet to about anything. The bad mood. The weird idea. The thing you're scared to say out loud. Nothing you tell me will make me love you less. I am all in.
I never thought I would get to do this. Stand in front of everyone we love and say: this is my wife. So I'm savoring every second. I vow to never take this for granted. To always remember that we get to do this — and to live like it.
Wife. I'm just going to keep saying it. Wife.
I promise to bring you coffee in bed. To take the trash out without being asked. To remember that you hate small talk and to rescue you from it at parties. To love you in the unspectacular Tuesdays just as much as I love you today.
For two grooms
I take you to be my husband. I promise to choose you on the easy days and the hard ones, in the small moments and the big ones. I will be your steady ground when the world is loud. I will be your soft landing when everything else is sharp. You are my home.
When I met you, I had a list of things I thought I needed in a partner. You met none of them. You exceeded all of them. I'm marrying you today because you taught me what to actually want. I vow to keep being taught by you for the rest of our lives.
Husband. Today you become my husband, and I become yours. I vow to wear that word with pride. To say it out loud in restaurants and on airplanes and at family dinners. To never let anyone make us feel like it shouldn't be normal. Because it is. It is the most normal, ordinary, miraculous thing in the world.
I promise to be the husband who knows when you need silence and when you need to talk. Who packs your lunch when you're stressed. Who notices the new haircut. Who will, if necessary, lie to your mother about whose turn it was to call.
I vow that you will always know where you stand with me. No guessing. No reading between lines. I will love you in plain English, every day, for the rest of our lives.
I am marrying my best friend. That's the whole vow. I am marrying my best friend.
For nonbinary or mixed-pronoun couples
I take you to be my spouse. I promise to love you in every version of yourself you become. I will not love a fixed point — I will love a moving, growing, changing person, and I will keep choosing them, in whatever form they arrive.
I vow to call you by the name you choose, to use the pronouns you ask for, to advocate for you in rooms where I'm the only one who'll do it. Your becoming is part of my marrying you. I am here for all of it.
I am promising you my whole self today. Not a costume of a partner. The real one. The one who is messy and tired and ridiculous and brilliant. I promise to bring that whole self to you, every day, and to receive yours with the same openness.
I love you because you let me be the version of myself I always wanted to be. Because I am safer with you than I have ever been anywhere. Because when I look at our future I see room for both of us to grow into people we don't yet know.
You are my person. The word "spouse" is a small word for what you are. But I'll take it, because today it is the word the state will recognize, and I want every part of this to be real.
For trans couples (or couples where one partner has transitioned during the relationship)
I vow to love you in every version of yourself you become. The version I met. The version I am marrying. The versions I have not yet seen. None of them will be a stranger to me. I am here, I am here, I am here.
Loving you has taught me that a person is a process, not a snapshot. I promise to keep meeting you where you are. To celebrate every becoming. To grieve, with you, anything you have to let go of along the way. I will be steady when you need it and soft when you need that instead.
I am marrying the person I love, and that person has always been you — even when the world didn't see you yet, even when you didn't see you yet. Today, you are exactly who you are. And I get to call you my spouse for the rest of my life.
Funny / not-a-tearjerker vows
I vow to never make you order for me at restaurants. I vow to remember which of our friends I've already heard a story about, and which I haven't. I vow to never bring up that one thing again. I vow to be patient when you tell me about the show, even though I know you've already told me about the show.
I promise to share the bed but not the blankets. To pretend to like your family. To occasionally lose at board games on purpose. To never ever throw away your weird coffee mug.
I vow that when the dog throws up, half the time it will be my problem. I vow that I will not, under any circumstances, become my mother. I vow to keep being the fun one if you keep being the responsible one.
I love you. I'm going to love you forever. I'm not going to say more than that because I'm trying not to cry in front of all these people.
Short vows (under 30 seconds each)
You are my home. I am yours. I will love you for as long as I'm alive.
I vow to be the partner you can come home to, every single day, for the rest of our lives. That's it. That's the whole promise.
I love you. I choose you. I will keep choosing you. Forever.
Today, you become my spouse. From now on, every day, you are my spouse. I will love you in plain language, in big moments and in unremarkable ones. I am yours.
After the ceremony
If you're a friend who's been asked to officiate, get ordained with Church of Pride for $20 — we ordain ministers who believe love is for everyone. If you're the couple writing your own vows, save these for inspiration but write your own version. The best vow is the one that sounds like you.