An elopement isn't a smaller wedding. It's a different shape of wedding — two people (sometimes three, with you), often a mountain or a courthouse or a backyard, and none of the staging that comes with a guest list. Officiating one is more intimate and slightly more technical than a regular ceremony, because the legal minimums become very obvious when there's no audience to hide them in.
If your friends are eloping and they asked you to officiate, here's everything you need to know.
1. Get ordained — same as a full wedding
Eloping doesn't change the legal requirements for the officiant. The state where the marriage license is issued is the state whose rules apply, and almost all of them require you to be ordained.
Get ordained with Church of Pride for $20 — five minutes online, certificate emailed instantly, credential mailed to you. You're recognized for life.
2. Check the state's witness rules — this is the elopement-specific gotcha
Most states require at least one or two witnesses in addition to the couple and the officiant. The number varies:
- Zero witnesses required: Colorado, Pennsylvania (self-uniting marriages), Wisconsin (in some counties), and a few others.
- One witness: California, Vermont, Maine, and several others.
- Two witnesses: Most other states — including Hawaii, New York, North Carolina, Virginia, and many destination-elopement favorites.
If the couple is eloping to a mountain peak alone, they need to know this before the trip. The classic elopement disaster is two people summiting Maroon Bells in Colorado, then driving back down to find out Colorado lets them self-solemnize but they wanted to get the license in a different state.
Call the county clerk in the county where the marriage license will be issued (not necessarily where the ceremony happens) and ask: "How many witnesses does our marriage license require, and who can serve as a witness?" Write down the answer.
3. Sort out who the witnesses will be
If the elopement needs witnesses and the couple wants only the two of them, you have options:
- You can usually be one witness yourself, in addition to officiating. Some states don't allow the officiant to also be a witness — check.
- Hire your photographer as a witness. Most elopement photographers do this professionally; many list it as a service.
- Bring a hiking guide, hotel concierge, or park ranger as a witness. These professions often see this request and don't blink.
- A stranger you ask politely. Yes, really. People will say yes. Bring snacks.
Solve the witness question before the day. Don't show up to the trailhead hoping.
4. Handle the marriage license logistics
The couple picks up the marriage license themselves, from the county clerk's office, before the ceremony. Each state has its own waiting period (some 24 hours, some none) and expiration window (usually 30–90 days). After the ceremony, you sign as officiant, the couple signs, the witnesses sign, and someone — usually you, in an elopement — mails it back to the clerk's office within the state's deadline.
A few elopement-specific tips:
- Bring the license to the ceremony. Don't leave it in the hotel. Don't trust the couple to remember it. Carry it yourself.
- Bring two pens. Black, fine point, the kind that won't smear in altitude or humidity.
- Bring a hard surface to sign on. A small clipboard or a hardcover book. Trying to sign a marriage license on a granite slab in the wind is its own special hell.
- Photograph the signed license before mailing. If it gets lost in transit, the photo plus a sworn affidavit will often get you a duplicate.
5. Write the ceremony — short, true, and specific
Elopement ceremonies should be shorter than regular ones. There's no audience to play to, no aunts to keep entertained. Five to eight minutes is plenty.
A 5-minute elopement script
(Welcome.) [Alex], [Sam] — we made it. You're here. We're standing in [the place] and you're about to get married. Let's do it.
(On the choice.) You decided to do this just the three of us. No big crowd, no DJ, no seating chart. Which means everything we say up here is just for the three of us. So I'm going to be honest with you.
[Two or three sentences about why their relationship is what it is. Keep it specific — one moment, not a thesis. "I remember the night you called me from the airport and said you were getting on the plane to come back" beats anything general about love.]
(Declaration of intent.) [Alex], do you take [Sam] to be your spouse — to love and stand with them, for as long as you both shall live? (I do.) [Sam], do you take [Alex] to be your spouse — to love and stand with them, for as long as you both shall live? (I do.)
(Vows.) [Each partner reads their vows. In an elopement these can be longer than usual — there's no one to keep on schedule.]
(Rings.) [Alex], place this ring on [Sam]'s finger and say: With this ring, I marry you. May it remind you, every day, that I chose you — here. [Repeat.]
(Pronouncement.) By the power vested in me by the state of [state], and by the choice the two of you just made up here, I pronounce you married. You may kiss.
That's the whole thing. Five minutes. Done.
6. The day-of choreography
Without a wedding planner, you become the wedding planner. A few things to coordinate:
- Time the ceremony around the light. Golden hour is real, and so is "we lost the sun behind the mountain ten minutes ago." If a photographer is involved, ask them what time to start.
- Confirm the location's rules. National parks require permits for ceremonies, even for two people. Some popular elopement spots (Glacier Point at Yosemite, the Tunnel of Trees in Michigan) limit ceremony size and signage. Check before the trip.
- Pre-position the rings. Don't make the couple fumble for them. Hand them off discreetly before you start.
- Pre-decide who reads when. "Alex, you go first" is something you should say once, off-camera, before the ceremony begins — not during it.
- Plan for weather. A pop-up rainstorm on a summit is going to happen one time out of three. Decide the rain plan in advance: do it anyway in jackets, retreat to the trailhead and do it under the trees, or relocate to the hotel patio.
7. After the ceremony
Sign the license immediately. Have the couple and witnesses sign. Photograph it. Then put it in a Ziploc bag in your pack. Then drink champagne or hike back or do whatever the couple wants to do next.
When you get home, mail the license to the county clerk within the state's deadline. Track the envelope. Do it yourself — don't trust the post office to redirect from a hotel address.
A note from us
Elopements are the most romantic kind of wedding. The couple has rejected the pageantry and the performance and chosen something deliberately, secretly, just for them. Being the third person in that ceremony is a real honor.
If you're ready to start, get ordained with Church of Pride. Instant certificate, credential in the mail, recognized for life. And read our guide on writing an LGBTQ-affirming ceremony if the couple is queer — most elopement scripts on the internet assume a default couple, and yours doesn't have to.